I am soooo late with posting this🤦🏾‍♀️ October is our busy month and it only took a couple November and December to finish writing 🤦🏾‍♀️ We have multiple family birthdays and an anniversary to celebrate at the end, all while trying to avoid being inundated by our regular family wear and tear. Most years have been phenomenal and genuinely pleasant, however this year there were several hiccups that truly made this year’s October more of a challenge than usual.

I’d love to say that it has been all flowers and rainbows, but when has that truly ever been the case in life lol???? I’m learning suffering is inevitable and I might as well work to prepare for it rather than spend all my energy attempting to avoid it. Some suffering is self caused and some is the ripple effects of things outside my control. If I can be real for a moment, I’d like to share some learnings from the past month.

So before even getting into the month of October, the end of September was already a busy ramp up for me personally. The women of Pillar Church attended a retreat at The Stables in Georgetown.

This would be my second year attending a retreat. The theme was “Grace Upon Grace” focusing on the various formats in which God is gracious to us AND how we are to extend that grace to those around us.

I learned a lot. One big point that I took away was that I/we are conduits of Gods grace. We often apply the grace trait to ourselves as though it is US who are gracious at our core. Further I/we often make shallow decisions to turn grace on and off at leisure based on how we are feeling about a person or circumstance 🤔

BUT that is not how grace works. It is not a switch to be turned on and off when I feel like it, nor void of consequences for my actions. God so overflows us with grace that it can and should enable us to be gracious as well.

One of the biggest areas I’ve been looking to change my approach to grace is in my marriage. God has been gracious with me and answering prayers of changing my perspective as well as actions 🙌🏾

Next on the list of busy October events was my 38th birthday 🥳 . This year I was really pumped about going another step further into my latter 30s. Although thankful of course for my season of 37, I look forward to more growth, more maturity, and lessons as I am blessed with another year.

In the U.S. I feel like we are culturally taught to value youth over aging and to constantly try to “gain” by going backward. My latest mindset is to appreciate whatever stage I’m in and learn to be ok with getting older. Easier said than done I’m sure, but that’s my aim nonetheless.

My husband graciously treated me to a celebratory dinner at my latest favorite spot, Clay Pigeon. This time we got to try one of their specials…something called a Spinalis Steak. This rare cut is the most premium part of a ribeye steak and it certainly tasted like it! I don’t like bones in my steak and they didn’t offer a filet mignon, but with this cut, I didn’t need it lol!

After my birthday celebrations is my youngest little Jai Birds birthday. We share a bday month and if interested check out her own 4th Birthday Post 🥰

One thing I did special for her was to blow dry her hair since she’s been asking for “Elsa hair” for months lol. I thought I would give it a go and y’all that little is my hair goals 🙌🏾 She’s got waist length hair already. Whew chilllle that’s a lot of locks!

The mister kept the adventure alive with getting us tickets to Funbox, the world’s biggest bounce park! There was music, bubbles, and a ridiculous bouncing maze of discovery. The girls absolutely loved it! It was hard to keep the kiddos in sight with them jumping all over the place, but it was so worth it for the payoff of NAPTIME 😂

At the close of the month we celebrated our 11 year anniversary. This time we planned to do a quick weekend staycation in Dallas. RJ purchased tickets for the Mavericks game opener and we looked forward to attempting a mini foodie tour.

Our touring started with a late night dessert place called The Dolly Llama. They’re known for waffle based treats topped with yummy ice cream 😋 I tried the Sugar N’ Spice which is their OG Liege Waffle topped with Horchata ice cream, speculoos cookies, cinnamon toast crunch and caramel sauce. I’m not a huge fan of sweets so I was pleasantly surprised that this didn’t leave my palette with a sugary overload.

As fun as everything sounded leading up to the staycation, we struggled to have a good time after leaving from dessert. Our anniversary unraveled with some difficult but necessary discussions and once we were able to call truce we had landed in the inevitable funk 😭

By the time we went to the game, there was a cloud hanging over our heads. Even though we had perfect seats, a fierce game, AND the Mavs taking home the win, the shroud of fog and drizzle outside mirrored our insides. We forced smiles to capture something of the night. To be completely transparent…it was just tough.

It gets better though…MUCH better!

The next day, we decided to eat at our known favorite Sum Dang Good Chinese in the Trinity Groves Shopping Center. It was still early so we sat in the car talking while waiting for them to open. During our discussion the icy walls we had built up over the weekend finally started to melt! The Lord helped me realized that I need to do better at meeting my hubby where he is rather than pushing my own agenda of where I think he should be.

With both of us praying, God was so gracious to answer our prayers right there in the car 🙌🏾 The whole staycation wasn’t lost! We were able to apologize, forgive, and finally lay the groundwork to start moving forward and get back to enjoying each other’s company. I got to walk into Sum Dang with my best friend laughing like we usually do. There was delicious food, quirky conversation, and grins for days.

For my anniversary blogs, I usually choose some pic where me and the mister are all glammed up and flashing million dollar smiles as the cover photo. It is true to the spirit in which it is taken. This year should be no different. Our joy came later and even though we aren’t all dressy, we still chose to own the moment with our genuine smiles 😄

Married life is not always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s tough terrain with real deep work to be plowed. What we faced was difficult, but God has even used that to grow us 🙌🏾 Last month my husband for the first time ever preached a sermon at our church!

He spoke from Philippians 2:12-18 encouraging us (the church) to work out our salvation entrusting that because it’s Gods will that gets done, He will equip us with everything we need to do even that work.

Additionally, he spoke of the need for us to be vulnerable, speaking the truth in love, being honest with one another, and not shying away from sharing current struggles or failures because that is actually part of our testimony!

I’m amazed at the way God continues to move us and grow us. It’s not always fun or easy, but there’s always fruit. I hope you’ll be encouraged to own the areas that need work in your life and look forward to the testimony of fruitfulness that will come from the work ❤️