The Handbag Guilt

My husband knows me so well. He knows my favorite phrases, he knows how I like to unwind, and he knows my absolute favorite designer, Tory Burch. Unfortunately, his first encounters of my enjoyment of Tory Burch were not pleasant experiences. I’ve come a long way in how I’ve approached my occasional lux purchases and I’d like to share a learning of mine.

When me and hubs first got married, I had it in my mind that we would lead what I would consider an “upscale lifestyle”. I was working a corporate job, so naturally that would require a look that complimented my career. This required manicured nails, hair that was always on point, chic heels, tailored pencil skirts, and of course a classy handbag to unify the package.

My idea of what would be a defining corner piece to my style specifically ended up being a Tory Burch Mini Ella Quilted Tote (shown below). This bag had it all for me! It came in my favorite color, could fit a ton of goodies, and had sheer simplistic taste. The problem was that my husbands ideas differed heavily from mine about what I should be spending our money on especially during a time when finances were tight.

He was not a fan of shelling out big bucks on clothing or accessories, so a new handbag was completely out of the question. We clashed and outright against his wishes I went online to Bloomingdales and bought that bag anyway (un-submissive wifey right here 🙋🏾‍♀️lol).

“He’ll get over it” I thought to myself and he eventually did. However, what I needed to realize was that MY bad attitude and poor heart posture was where the problem started. Rather than die to this image I was building of what my career self should look like, I was willing to sacrifice marital peace for a handbag!

It wasn’t immediate, but over time The Lord gently convicted me of that ugliness inside. I was able to see more clearly that the handbag was a thing and MY HUSBAND and our relationship was infinitely more important than it.

Fast forward to this Mother’s Day weekend and I was actually in the mood for a Tory Burch handbag. Now normally when my husband gets me bags as he has in the past, I feel excitement. We have grown to the point where he actually WANTS to bless me with bags periodically and (thankfully) I’ve matured to the point of understanding that my identity is not rooted in my latest leather arm candy, but rather in Christ 🙌🏾. So whether he does or he doesn’t, I am completely goodt 😂

However, this time when I got the bag, rather than excitement being the only feeling, it was coupled with a pang of guilt. I took time to explore where the cloud was coming from and after some introspection I realized it surfaced from feeling bad about how I use to go about getting my Tory Burch bags.

After talking with him he reassured me that he was more than happy to get me a new bag and glad that I could pin point exactly what I wanted (took the pressure off lol). Thankfully, I can celebrate that growth. I’ve learned to take pleasure in the blessings I receive and to hold things with an open hand. It’s very freeing to enjoy something for a season and let it go knowing that it has no bearing on who I am as a person. I can fully delight in knowing that he is on board with giving to me in this way 🥰

So now that my guilt is squashed, here’s the latest addition to my handbag family! I call her Bonnie Blue Butler (Gone With The Wind ya know). It’s a Tory Burch Mini Ella Bio Tote in Blue Azure.

What I like is how petite yet sturdy she is. It feels like she can withstand a good amount of wear n’ tear which is great because I plan to keep her out all Spring/Summer long. I really enjoy the bright blue monochromatic tone as well. I’m usually not a fan of huge logos on anything, but this seems muted enough to be classy. I can fit my tiny basics, throw her on and go.

This bag represents more than just a trinket to carry my essentials. She’s a vibrant reminder that I don’t have to feel guilty about owning her because she is the gift that wanted to be given. That’s even better than any handbag I could ever own and I will wear her alongside a smile on my face.

Til next time, happy guilt free shopping 😊

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s