Even though we’ve had our daughter for 7 weeks, up until this point it’s been an awkward getting to know you phase. When we brought her home from the birthing center, it was just so surreal. I knew she came out of me but I just still couldn’t believe she was actually out of me. One minute she’s tucked away safe in my belly, the next she’s screaming and crying bloody murder as she is being wrapped like a burrito in swaddling cloths.
From then on it was just one odd thing after another. Her frowning up at me like “You don’t know how to put me in a diaper?” me looking down at her like “You want to help me figure out how we get you in this diaper?” and fumbling trying to figure out the front from the back (I admit I now know how to diaper her blind folded lol!!!). But there was a recent moment where I literally felt like a mom and it didn’t happen the way I thought it would.
We went to a foodie brunch by Hot Box Biscuit Club. Up until recent we hadn’t taken Bee out of the house but a handful of times and certainly not to any public events. Well, we just decided to wing it this time and pray for the best. The worst that would happen would be our little baby screaming the whole time and us embarrassingly and quickly shuffling ourselves out of the venue tails tucked firmly between our legs lol!
The millions of thoughts swirling through my head as we walked up went a little something like this: “Please don’t scream, please don’t fuss, please go to sleep, or at least please be mellow. Help us out so we look somewhat like your parents and like we kind of know what we are doing…sort of Amen!”
From the beginning it was rocky. Bee doesn’t care for the car seat so as soon as we set it down she was ready to get out since she was still wide awake. My hubby was so great, quick to respond and let her be in the action. Then giving her a bit of bottle to drink. It wasn’t enough to make her want to sleep, but it held off fussiness for a while.
He eventually handed her to me because she was starting to fuss and I figured with the new environment she just wanted to make sure I was close by. Then the moment came when that mom feeling finally happened for me. I was cradling Bee in my arms while eating my brisket frito pie with my free hand. I looked at her, looked at myself and realized I AM DOING IT!!! I’m momming!!!! I am putting my daughter to sleep while consecutively still participating in my beloved foodie lifestyle! I know it probably can’t always be like that, but I was soooooo very happy and felt like it was a small win for the day.
Up until this point I had been slightly worried that I would lose myself. I think it’s a very real new mommy fear that I will get so sucked into having a kid and forget that I enjoy my life too. I enjoy going thrifting, I enjoy being adventurous, I enjoy trying new food and being a foodie…I enjoy it all.
Needless to say I can’t wait to share the things I enjoy with my daughter. I am finally starting to feel like my type of mom with having confidence that I can have my cake and eat it too…or should I say have my brisket frito pie and eat it too :p